My sister-in-law (28F) doesn't like me (28F) but she won't talk about it, and her kids get caught in the middle. Not sure what to do?

Hey I read through all of your comments again, and I just wanted to say thanks for taking the time to write all of that out. I think you've given me a lot of insight into how Kelly thinks. You're right that she hasn't brought it up with me, even though I've tried to be on the same page, so she obviously doesn't want to talk about it. If it's a problem for her, she can say something, or continue to make/change rules if that's her preference.

I'm gonna keep everything you've said in mind, and continue to try and be a good aunt, and not worry too much about the kids' rules. If it causes tension between them and their mum that's unfortunate, but you're right that it's between them. I think explaining the cake example really made it clear for me... If she did say "it's because I don't want them to eat vegan food" what would I do? Would I make my kids go without cake to save face for her? No.

If her kids think her rules are weird or unfair, it's not my job to change my behaviour to avoid them questioning it, the same as it isn't my job to encourage any questions. We can have different rules, and how they deal with it is up to them.

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