Look at this, the story is kinda the same but from her point of view

TW/ My brother sexually assaulted me when we were both children. I don’t know if he knows I remember.

I (F), am a few years younger than my oldest brother.

When I was maybe 4-5, and he was 9, he used to help me shower. I guess I had repressed it, or normalized it so much in my head, but I had kind of forgotten what he used to make me do when we’d shower together.

He’d make me touch him sexually and perform oral on him. I didn’t know what was happening, and I’m not sure if he knew what he was doing either. I never told anybody, because I rationalized it in my head so much.

It took until literally this year, almost 20 years later, to fully put all the dots together and really face those memories.

I grew up really suffering from hypersexuality. From the second I could access the internet I was looking at really violent misogynistic porn. I remember seeking out older men (does anybody else remember getting groomed on kik?) and sending explicit images young as eight years old. I have willingly put myself into very unhealthy and abusive relationships because I have never had a healthy view of sex, or my value as a person, or my body. It has taken me a really really long time to realize this is where it originated.

I haven’t lived with my brother for almost eight years now. He hasn’t touched me sexually since I was maybe 6. I don’t know if he fully understood what he was doing at the time because we were both so young… but it’s really hard to ignore those memories now that I have faced them. He still sends me happy birthday texts and I just…. Can’t help but hate him. Even if he didn’t know it at the time, he ruined my mental health for the rest of my life.

What do I do now?