Even to this day I get an uneasy feeling and tense up when small things happen in reaction to some unseen fear. I try to consciously acknowledge in my head its anything but my mother so I can forget but deep down I know its exactly why. The smallest things would be carried on for a lifetime with her and its shocking to realize normal people don't act that way. I've changed my life in many ways, even if personally negative, to give my daughter everything I couldn't have dreamed of as a child. All thoughts are replaced by pure joy when seeing her having a caring mother that actually loves her, a mother that sacrifices her life for her child, and for her to truly "own" her belongings and ultimately her own life. I know my daughter doesn't deserve the suffering of a narcissistic parent anymore than any of us have and all of us should do what we can to combat that suffering no matter what. Even the smallest thing to combat the experience of your upbringing is a win for your child(ren)'s childhood over yours, keep it up OP no matter the personal "cost."