I think many parents have this ideal plan in their head for their children, most want what is best for the, too. I think it is hard especially if you aren’t expecting it, OP has had time to process while his wife has not. Her handling of the situation wasn’t ideal but you factor in devout religious and worried about grandkids and I can see why the convo ended this way. I don’t think this makes wife bad person at all, hopefully with a little time and OPs help she will come around. Support each other and work through it. We have all done and said stupid shit in the past. My mom cried about grandkids when I came out over 10 years ago and we have a great relationship, she has never once prodded me about that subject again, but she is also a great mom.