Why is my son's future important but not my daughter's? TW: sibling violence, CSA, suicide

I had a brother who sexually abused me, destroyed my self esteem, and was generally volatile. He traumatized me and sucked much of the joy out of my childhood and made me feel like I had to be “good” and “easy” to compensate. Though I knew my parents loved me and were desperately trying to navigate an impossible situation, I did often feel I was being sacrificed for him. I used to lay and bed and night even as an older teenager and wish he could just be erased from our lives (because wishing him dead seemed horrible, and I knew if he died, our lives would revolve around the trauma of his death just as much as they revolved around the trauma he inflicted alive). I am well into adulthood and still trying to recover from the damage he caused. I understand why my

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