from yellowraven77 via /r/NarcissisticAbuse sent just nowShow Parent Yeah.... I started writing another text before posting this "short" one but it was turning into a book project. There are so many important details that take it from generic post that anybody could have written to a detailed pattern of behavior with plausible causes in the backstory. And regarding myself why do I have this need to save somebody? I could have been with sombeody without a complex history.

I am not making a diagnosis . However, your ex exhibited many more and much more behavior/thoughs/emotions more consistent with a person having a borderline personality with narcissist traits than pure narcissism.
As for your "i'll die for you while trying to save you" complex: so many of us have this. It's unreal. it is almost as if we can't talk about it here as the abuses we suffer far outweigh the need to discuss that.
There should be another thread about " why do I willingly lose so that some ungrateful ingrate succeeds?
it's the same thing but different in terms of how they became the way that they are: environment , parenting, support network, opportunities, exposure. not really learning what actually makes a good relationship, being given or shown bad examples. People staying in abusive environments for life, while bickering non stop , endless sarcasm at the kitchen table or watching our parents give each other the silent treatment but still helping the other when something happens.
many of us come from dysfunctional families or such good families that we have zero experience with anything else. and of course, genetics accounts for the difference between each other as well as influences on it's full acceptance and integration. .