I see where you’re coming from, and don’t 100% disagree. However, there’s still some nuance. I think it’s fair to acknowledge both that it’s a professional relationship where person A is paying person B for their skill set, and to acknowledge that the unique skillset varies by the therapists training and the clients needs.

I don’t need my therapist to be too much like a friend, but warm and safe are required feelings. Not just for her! I try to find similar traits in my primary physician, a dietitian I worked with, and really anyone who I’m getting such personal advice. Both because of a trauma history, and my personal values it’s important that I feel the person I’m seeing understands me. Especially living in the US where I have to pay more than I can often afford.

So, I definitely don’t want a friend. I’ve had a few therapists who were the friendly type and that’s not my vibe. However, someone who gets me enough that, in entirely different circumstances, that I sense chatting over coffee may not be terrible is what I’m down for.