Let me start off by saying I enjoyed reading your post. Kudos to you for having such personal growth, and I hope for continued success in your life.

Regarding this subreddit. Stop thinking this subreddit represents what every Brown guy think. It doesn't. Its largely Indian and their experience. This applies to basically all-Desi-male-excellence subs tbh.

I have been lurking this subreddit for a couple days. I visited this subreddit for discussions on things OTHER than dating, like having a cultural identity in the west, thinking others the same instead its just a bunch of young Indian males who are frustrated with their lack of dating prospects with white women, hence low self esteem coping by hating Indian women or blaming society for negative Indian stereotypes.
Dont get me wrong there are posts for my liking and other variety aswell but most of it is the former. Which is why I avoid "Desi-Male reddit subs" because I now know what it means.

I don't want to start a nationalistic flame war but being a Pakistani in the west is different than being an Indian.
Personally speaking, I have noticed that our struggles and strife come from being more religious/cultural based. Indians struggle is trying to be accepted by the western culture despite doing everything possible. Both have significant challenges and repercussions like we tend to face religious radicalization in our communities, whereas you see In<3l in the Indian community.
Dont get me wrong, Desi's as a whole struggle dating in the west, I sure as hell did but tbh I never made it a life/death situation like you see here.

The point that im trying to make here is, know your audience and the context. Avoid places like these for any advice other than cautionary tales.