I think I was a little unclear - the pressure/hitting herself/death threats happened once or twice, and we backed off, because obviously that's terrible. I mostly mentioned it to forestall the people who would otherwise inevitably tell me I need to be tougher. But in the absence of pressure, it's just all shrugging and sulking.

Sadly, she does indeed want to follow a path that will require decent grades. She wants to go to a nice high school here, which will not accept her if she doesn't get decent test scores this year, and the alternative is going to be a pretty crappy and not-fun school experience (we're in NYC; the neighborhood nigh school is like a prison). And she's interested in the kinds of fields that are much easier to break into if you've gone to a decent school and made connections. Not impossible, but it's frustrating to see her shoot down her own dreams.