I was rejected by all my crushes until in 2016 (at 23) when I managed a 'thing' with someone who turned out to be having me on the side.

The one after that did not end well at all. He was going through a deep depression and I was basically in charge of his emotional health from Week 1

The ones after that trickled away after they got to know me (I'm a bit much as well, too verbose, very analytical, a tad volatile, someone neurotypical would deem an anomally only to be observed from a distance)

The one after those ones was so emotionally abusive that I lost clumps of hair and weight, hated myself a little

The one after that broke what was left. I almost ran mad

All these were at most 2 month long ventures

It reached a point we were questioning if I wronged a god of love in an earlier life. It was just bad baad BAD

Has my situation changed? Yes. I am proudly single now. Been getting more attention from the opposite sex now that I don't care whether or not I'll die alone.

There's no shame in where you are. You'll find someone to love. Find peace in rejection, it's one step closer to the one who is for you.. Sorry I sound like an old crone in a Tellenovela or something