Ouch ouch ouch! That sounds so painful, I’m so sorry you had this conflict. What a difficult way to start the day! Big hugs to you, this really must be hard and I can see why you’d be just gutted.
If your partner is someone who is normally empathetic and caring, I would say that what is likely going on here is a mix of a few things. For one, there’s probably a certain amount of pain avoidance in what he was saying. Sometimes we humans turn judgment on victims because being able to say “they could have done something” creates a mental force field around our profound feelings of vulnerability and helplessness. It’s existentially terrifying to most people to contemplate that sometimes, horrible awful things happen, and there really might not be a way for individual victims to “solve” that. We humans cling really hard to the idea that “there’s always something! There’s always some way to get justice!” because it lets us sleep at night to think that that couldn’t happen to us. This thought trap catches even survivors at times—I’m normally a pretty tender-hearted person and even I have caught myself falling for those thoughts (and even turning them on myself at times). So it’s possible your partner was struggling with that in the moment, without being totally conscious of it, and so you two weren’t able to connect with each other over the emotional dimensions of what you were talking about because you were fundamentally not occupying the same thought space and also not open and vulnerable enough within yourselves to have a safe sharing.
Another element of what might be happening is that your partner may have taken a very defensive position when you brought up your trauma. This is not to say you were wrong or that he was! Just to note that it’s possible that he really truly wasn’t thinking about you and your experience, and that to him there was some shade of difference between what he was saying about Manson and what he thinks about you, such that when you raised your experience to try and say “whoa”, he experienced that as a personal attack that he feels is unwarranted. To him, it might have felt like “you don’t love me, you’re a bad person because you hate victims, you...” That’s not at all how you would have said it or intended it, but inside himself he probably does feel a bit like a bad person on some level, or at least a person who is inadequate in the sphere of loving you, and that deep feeling of unworthiness was activated and permeated the conflict.
I’m a bit concerned about him freezing you out after conflict, that’s something maybe to think about, but it can be sometimes appropriate to have a cooling off period after intense emotional flooding, so... idk. I hope you are safe in your relationship in general and that this silence is just a little bit of strain and not a pattern of stonewalling.
Anyway there’s a lot to unpack, a lot of possibilities, so my advice to you is to reflect on what you want to come next and what you need. Deeply connecting with what you need and what you want to happen (e.g. to return to a secure relational space? To be validated? To know you are loved?) will help guide you in your next steps.
IF you want to be the one to take first steps toward repair, you might need to see if you can find a place inside yourself where you can listen to him and untangle the mess of why he got activated and what he was hurt by, something like approaching him saying “I can’t read your mind, but I am wondering if our conflict has you thinking that I reject you or don’t appreciate your love? I want you to know that I believe you are a good person, and I know you love me, and I know you have empathy for victims. I know that, and at the same time I am carrying a lot of pain too, and it’s really hard for me to think that you might think about me the things you said about these unknown others. It’s hard not to personalize it, and I guess that must be something you feel too, because if it’s personal for me what does that mean I am saying about who you are? I don’t want us to fight, and I need you right now because I’m hurting, and you’re probably hurting too and I want to be there for you as much as I want you to be there for me. Can we talk about this?” Then listen, offer reassurance around the inherent worthiness of each of you, and you can ask for what you need as well (which might be to know that he doesn’t blame you, that he does love you, that he understands why you felt hurt by what he said even if he didn’t mean it THAT WAY, or that he feels compassion about you being hurt and wants to make amends). If you have the emotional energy to take a vulnerable stance and open the floor to listening, clarifying, and really affirming the fundamentals of who you are to each other, you might get toward feeling better together. You might discover things about the conflict you were having, deep fears or anxieties or beliefs, that shed new light on what happened. It’s not easy but it’s one way of moving forward if it resonates for you.
Wishing you peace and harmony! I’m so sorry this has been a tough moment in your relationship and that you’re dealing with your old wounds on top of a big conflict. You’re not at fault and it’s going to be okay, one way or another.