She came home super angry one day because she had been passed up for a promotion at work and it had been given to someone she felt didn't deserve it. She said it she wasn't trying to be so nice all the time and wasn't such a pushover, then she would've been the one to get the promotion and the other person wouldn't because it was only due to her help that she did. I don't know the inner workings of her job intimately, but from what I can tell, nothing about this other person makes them unqualified to have gotten the promotion and nothing my wife listed was overly kind. It's the type of stuff you do for coworkers. Taking notes at meetings they miss, helping them figure out a function on Excel, etc.

But after that she said she was done being such a pushover and no more. She was going to change. It wasn't like she became a total asshole over night. At first it was fairly reasonable. Saying no to nights out when she was tired, not hosting parties for people she barely knew. Typical stuff. Then she just went further and further with it until we are where we are today. Nobody wants to be around her because she's selfish, rude, and just simply an asshole to those around her, including me.

I don't know how I can be any less vague. I can't give you a play-by-play of our 7 year relationship. It's a ton of little things, and I feel like I've given a pretty good example of the types of things she considers pushover behavior, where most would just call it being a good friend.