Still think your missing the picture

Nope, I think you're missing the point that these things are very likely related in your case. A counselor will help you and your wife to communicate better (if you're both wiling to work on your marriage) and help you see if you can get on the same page.

I did assumed it would change when we decided as man and wife to try for a baby. Hence the term "baby making".

I don't know where you live, but this is simply a wrong assumption. Not everyone's libido goes magically up, even if they want a baby.

We literally are barely having sex and it seems counter productive to our desire for a child.

And you need to get to the bottom of it. The issue might be something you never actually thought about.