(and eventually stopped once she expressed discomfort with it)

at that point, you should have postponed the wedding, and started counseling. Why would anyone rush into marriage, knowing you can't even discuss one of the top dealbreakers in-depth?

Yes, it's odd, but it has been working for us.

I mean if you don't mind figuring out that you're incompatible after having married....okay.

I know, I can't pick gender. Unless she agrees to IVF, there is definitely no way I can do that.

Srsly....even if you live in a country where this is legal. Why would you do that? Choosing your baby's gender comes with tons of ethical issues.