My wife (44F) wants to be my (48M) equal.

As someone who has gone from being a breadwinner to being supported (by choice, to pursue a PhD, and hopefully not for the long term), I can vouch for the fact that the breadwinner/ dependant relationship can be a tricky one! For me, I appreciate the support of my partner while I do something I am passionate about, and I love the feeling of being a team working towards a common goal, but something in me is uncomfortable with the dynamic and feeling reliant on someone else. I think these dynamics are hugely variable in every relationship and circumstance, however from my insights so far I would suggest that it is about feeling a sense of power and control/agency that is the most important thing. Not just being 'allowed' to have input or authority, but feeling as though you inherently do. That can be fostered in many ways, I'm sure, however money is the one that we are most used to! Perhaps it is about her finding those things she is most passionate about and becoming a leader in that area, in a way that reflects her strengths and influence beyond money.

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