With the nature of this thread, the mods should probably lock it.

There's also a LOT of assumptions from people on this thread.

Here's my advice OP.

1.) Do you give her oral? If so, stop. Don't ask for oral, don't give oral, don't even think about oral. If you value the marriage, drop it. Entirely. Your wife will never give you oral like she did to her ex, despite the fact that you're her husband. It sucks but married life is like that sometimes.

Or

2.) Go see a sex positive marriage counselor. Bring this up once you and your wife have been a few times. Describe how hurt this made you feel that she'd blow another man, her ex, and not you, her husband. Lay your feelings out there, as this is the perfect time to really let her know how much it hurts to see your wife giving something that means a lot to you, to another man that isn't you. Let her know how insecure it makes you feel to have seen that. If she has a good reason for not giving them, it will come out then.