Dead cat story. My buddy shows up to the house to pick me up. He pulls in the driveway, I open the door, there's a dead orange cat on the seat. I don't get in and am like "dude what the fuck? There's a dead fucking cat in your seat, I'm not getting in." He says "dude just move it, get in!" Like it's just a book or something I could easily move. "Fuck that, I'm not riding in your car or touching that thing. What're you doing with a fucking dead cat anyways man?" He's like "I'm going to revive it with the reviving scripture." So I'm thinking what in the hell is up with this dude today? Well my friend had been really into tripping dxm/triple c's and was trippin' that day, so explains the dead cat. He moves the cat, I get in and we're on our way. He ends up toting this dead cat around with him while he's later pumping gas at the gas station and by this point his black shirt is covered in dead orange cat hair. The station tenant and other customers are damn near horrified at the sight of a dude carrying a dead cat around with him at the gas station, all the while I'm laughing so hard I'm trying not to piss myself while my friend is potentially getting diseases. A little about my buddy, we'll call him "Ned," Ned is paranoid that the government has been watching him for some time due to his internet search history. He mainly looks into ufo/alien spacecraft stuff and he's convinced there's more than meets the eye, and that he is being tailed by white security vans on the daily. So there's this company called renzenberger that gives rides to dudes who work on the railways in our area, and you guessed it, they drive white vans everywhere. So how this is all relevant, I finally talk him into getting the cat out of the car to dispose of it somewhere, after a bunch of "the cat's out of the bag" jokes are made. He says, "That's it! The cat's out of the bag! We are gonna show those Renzenfuckerz that we are on to their little scheme!" So he goes to this place where one of their vans is normally parked and puts the dead cat under the windshield wiper, like a cop puts a ticket, with a note saying something along the lines of "The cat's out of the bag and you'll be exposed in no time!" So to make end to all this, he didn't end up with a disease, his car smelled more than normal, and he claims the white vans that were tailing him had ceased. I was just along for the ride and we got our errands in order. All in all it was a good trip.

TLDR- don't spy on people with surveillance vans because they are likely to come down 10 fold on that ass with animal carcasses