Update;

I believe the true reality of what has happened has hit my Wife in the last 24 hours. She is now also very upset and taking full responsibility saying there is no excuse and she doesn't know why she done it.

She has said that the decision is totally mine and that she cares for me immensely despite her actions. She has offered to leave our family home, and she will move out and start on her own. She said i do not deserve to suffer in any other way than i already have and she is willing to sacrifice her place in our family for this. She has assured me that she has no intention of making contact with the co worker and will stay with family for the time being. I'm inclined to believe what she says as despite how awful this is, our history was a happy one and we had always been best friends.

Most people will tell me to take the chance and let her do this because it is what she deserves but I don't want to punish her as I still love her. I really am so confused right now and am still uncertain if I can ever look at her the same again.

I know I am emotionally unstable because my moods are all over the place and my head is a mess.

I want to thank everyone for taking the time to give me advice and their own experiences. I really do appreciate it