To top things off our renters moved out of our rental property yesterday...the place is TRASHED. Its going to cost a fortune to get ready to sell, something I had planned on doing to help alleviate our current financial situation. I now have no idea how the hell I'm supposed to pay the mortgages, the repair bills, daycare and all of our regular bills.

Look for new tenants who are willing to help you tidy up in exchange for lower rent. there are plenty of homeless people who need a chance like this to help get them back on their feet. You could help each other.

TL:DR My wife refuses to work - business is failing and we are struggling to make ends meet...then she puts my kid in daycare for $300 a month so she can have three days a week to do nothing.

Cut her off financially from everything you can. Credit cards, Bank accounts, the lot. Then call up the daycare and say you won't be paying for it anymore.

This tough love, but it needs to be done as it's no longer about you and your wife, but your 3 kids having a roof over their heads and food to eat. If she can't see that now, the only place she will see it is from her new home on the street.

I have no idea what she plans to do alone for three days a week and she gets offended by my even asking like I am somehow asserting that she doesn't deserve time to herself.

No, she doesn't deserve time to herself while you're on the brink of financial disaster and you're almost out on the streets. She chose to have 3 kids, she needs to step up and help you take care of them. It's a fucking selfish cop-out if she's not even willing to get a part time job to help make ends meet.