My dad (64) is in a similar position but single over the past two years. No matter what therapy you do, you will resent your wife after this.. and that’s totally within reason. Get her out of your life. This is a major breach of trust.

My biological mom spent my college fund on drugs and I’m in debt from college. I’m 29 and I don’t forgive her. I’ve talked to her under 10 times over the last 12 years… and I prefer it that way.

My dad dated a woman that I didn’t get on with and I cried daily for ~6 years that she was in my life. He stayed with her for the same fear that you have (dating as a older adult) and she eventually left him… dating at 52 is a lot easier than dating later. It’s also easier than living with resentment for the partner you have to see daily. Seeing a person that placed your daughter under financial stress, limiting choices, etc.

I really wish you the best and I hope that you’re able to rid yourself of the parasitic person that did this to you. I’m sorry for being harsh but this woman is not your responsibility.