Dude your wife calls you a faggot? First of all that's ridiculous- you're married to her, you have children. Who does she think you are? Ted Cruz? (Sorry couldn't help myself)

Second of all she sounds awful. Kudos to you for having the patience to deal with her because frankly I don't think I have that. You sound like you're a nice person. That is a good thing to be. But right now you being so nice is making this person think they can mistreat you. You need to learn how to set boundaries, and you need to tell her that being cruel to you is not okay. She knows it's not okay. She knows what she's doing is fucking rude. Call her out on it. Confront her with her actions. Ask her if she really wants a divorce? When she belittles you ask her why she would say something so mean? Confront her. Make her explain the awful shit she's saying to you. Make her hear herself say it. If she's not a complete piece of shit then that will change the way she speaks to you. If it doesn't change the way she speaks to you then she's awful and you should probably get your kids away from her because she's going to start being like that to them too.