he's in preschool and won't really play with the other children, he only wants to play with the teacher and other teachers aids

That's probably cause for concern, and I don't think your theory as to why is ignorant at all.

As others have mentioned, independent play is very important, and of course learning to play and work with his peers is equally important.

When I was a kid, we didn't sit around and play with our parents all day. The modern day expectation that parents have to be their child's playmates at all times outside of working hours is crazy, and no one is a bad parent for wanting to chill out alone every so often.

I know I probably sound like an old man, but your wife is way over the top on this issue, and it seems like it's directly affecting your son's ability to develop healthy relationships with kids his own age.

I hope you guys can come to an agreement of some kind, good luck!