I feel dejected and hopeless. Yeah I can pay off my loans doing it. Yeah I'll get a GI bill. But I'll be 30 by the time I have my degree and I've lost so many oppurtunitoes to be with the girls I've love. Yeah I met a few and they were great, and one led to another and would have met the last without ending it with the first. But I'm just tired of trying. I have so many wasted oppurtunitoes that I hate myself. I had the situation I'm in. I can't get to sleep till 6 am. I have trouble not dreaming about the girls I lost I'll love. It's been 2 years since my last breakup. I take diphenhydramine to repress R.E.M. sleep but it only works until the last two hours I sleep and then I immediately dream about Liz and Gretchen. Sometimes Shannon. I hate it. I hate that I put so much more in to relationships than I get out. Im not ugly. Im fit. But I still don't want anyone else. Don't pity me. It just makes me feel worse. I know every guys been there. Not every guy dated these amazing girls. Not sure if I have any chances left to meet someone like them.