I am a 38 year old who has no friends and I have never had a real girlfriend. I am $90,000 in credit card debt and student loans. my car is falling apart. I spend pretty much every day taking care of my grandparents who can't walk or feed themselves. But here's what I can tell you about myself. I am a kind-hearted person who loves to read loves animals and hopes to one day travel the world. On some level I know that all of my faults all of my shortcomings and failings are due to fear but still to this day I find hope to go on sometimes it is hard sometimes it is very hard to find a reason to keep living but I know that if I am dead I will never get to witness what comes next either for myself or for Humanity. Maybe I will never get to have true happiness and maybe it is my lot in life to just be a witness to the lives of others but I look for the simple things the things that will occasionally make me smile that will make me laugh and I Hold On To those things. Nobody ever said life was easy or Fair, and if you do spend your life worrying about what others have that you don't then there is absolutely no chance to figure out what your purpose is but I promise you this if you are dead you will never find out. Try to find a way to be curious about what the future holds. My gift is about the joy that it will give me to make somebody else happy.

Heck it would make my day if someone just gets me a package of socks be the first Christmas present I've gotten in 25 years. if I get shafted I get shafted, but I'm going into this positive and I hope you can do the same too I hope things get better for you I hope so many things