I don’t really know if I can really give any advice except that once I reach a certain point, it’s like I’m possessed. The way I’ve worked around this is to begin identifying signs and patterns that indicate I’m quickly spiraling towards that, so I can be aware that I’m heading that direction and try to actively change it. Once the outburst begins, though, I really don’t have much advice. As a family member, you can try reading up on how to deal with his behavior when it happens.

“I Hate You—Don’t Leave Me” has some good comprehensive advice on how to communicate with borderlines, and a decent explanation about how/why these techniques work. There’s a free pdf online somewhere, but I recommend it!

I’m sorry that y’all live in a place where therapy/help isn’t easily accessible or accepted, as I think that’s really the only thing that really helps. I’m not sure about his attitude towards it, but perhaps he would be open to doing therapy online? I personally have never done it, but a friend of mine used to do their therapy over skype.