In need of advice from ex-Muslim women.

If that is the case, as much as it is horrible what happened, this still has nothing to do with her autonomy and her life choices. She should not feel guilty because of her father's indoctrination and narrow world view. You need to make her understand that she has her own life as well. Besides, if she is doing this out of guilt after this event it is very superficial and insincere, and, quite frankly, petty. I understand, especially coming from a collective culture as well, what familial relationships mean, but that is all just human constructs. Tell her to compartmentalize between what happened while yet understanding that it has nothing to do with her autonomy and freedom of expression.

Similar thing happened to my second cousin. She hates Islam and how women are subjugated but knew it would destroy her family when she realized that she could no longer stay a Muslim after realizing the truth about this frivolous, fatuous, sinister, contradictory, irrational, plagiarized Arab mythology. But she knew that this was her ONE and only life she can live and knew that she was more important than the imagination of her father (who nearly had a stroke when he found out she apostatized). It is a fucking hard journey, not gonna lie, and it is easier for me to tell you this to tell her then it is to see how it plays out. But no matter what, we need to strive for our individuality and liberty. How the hell should we expect to live up to bullshit if no one will respect us simply because a woman wants to take off her hijab and have a glass of wine for crying out loud.

Mate, this is the dangers of indoctrination. As a male, I was always bisexual, but when I was Muslim I shrugged of these "urges" towards men as wiswas and wanted to pass the test Allah was giving me. When I became an apostate, I still felt that being with a man was dirty and hated myself and suffered from horrible mental issues and anxiety; that's what indoctrination does to one's identity - it really took a while for me to see that what I would experience was beautiful and wholesome.

I hope everything works out well, this sub is here to support you and your friend <3

/r/exmuslim Thread Parent