I am coming to you from someone who: 1) was once depressed 2) lived in section 8 3) got C's and D's my first two years of high school and ended up with the highest GPA my junior and senior year and 4) now go to college with a full four-year scholarship, studying finance, and have a 4.00/4.00 GPA.

Why do I mention this? To tell you its possible to change your life around.

Now to get into the real stuff that you posted.

"I feel pathetic even posting about this"... there is no need to prematurely define how people will perceive something. If people might perceive it as pathetic, then sure, accept it for what it is, but do not beat yourself down for something you can't control.

"I'm 20 still living in my parent's house and it sucks". I'm 21 and I still live in my parents house. I know how you might feel like a bother, and that they might grill you for certain things. My suggestion is you really sit down with them and tell them you're trying to get your shit together so you can get out of their way soon. You want to be a good son (I hope) and communicate what the problems in your home are. Do you not clean around the house? Are you too loud? Are they too loud? etc. Clear it all out. Seriously do it.

As for your applications to programming jobs. Is your resume the appropriate "industry standard" template? What's missing? Reach out to alumni from your current college. Ask them what the deal is. How can you improve? Reach out to subs on Reddit and ask for feedback on your resume. Most important thing is to REACH OUT TO PEOPLE. Email. Find people on LinkedIn who are doing what you want to do. Ask them how they did it, and what you need to do to do the same.

Lastly, I have one suggestion for you. Stop complaining and take 100% responsibility for your life. Try to not complain for one whole month. It'll do you some good. Realize that your entire life is in your hands. It truly is. When you complain, you give that power over your life to someone else.