Thanks!! Okay, I'm going to try and be succinct but it's very fresh and I'm pretty emotional about it still so apologies in advance if I ramble at all :XX
So I went to a festival and met a girl when we were all rolling, it was amazing, we clicked sooo hard, on a 'sober' wavelength too (like it was more than just the drugs, I'm experienced enough to know the difference)
We hung out the next night at the festival and again it was like just one of those people that 'clicked'. She lives 3 hours away, we text all week and it's just as smooth as ever, she comes and visits me on Friday.
She told me she's bipolar when we met and I didn't really think much of it. Her medication makes it so when she goes to sleep it's like really hard to wake her up. Anyway, we're both the kind of people who don't easily 'like' other people, it's rare that I actually get strong romantic feelings towards someone, and so is she. She makes it to my house and it wasn't even weird for a second. We start drinking and eventually make our way out to the bars with my friends, and it was all great. She started talking about how like it's scaring her how much she likes me, and that this doesn't happen, she's scared to sleep with me cuz you know that just complicates things when feelings are involved, stuff like that. My friends reported her telling them about how much she likes me too. We're all pretty drunk at this point. We get back to my house and she starts telling me like how much she likes me as a person and just how great I am, wondering why I'm so nice to her and just the whole 9 yards. We didn't end up hooking up because she passed out pretty quick, I didn't really care.
Okay, thanks for hanging in there with me, this is where the trouble comes. We woke up the next morning and, well, I felt terrible because of a hangover, and I'm pretty sure she did too, she had also taken percoset which combined with alcohol gives a really nasty hangover (from what I've been told). Anyways, the vibe that morning was weeeeird. Like, she had been sooo into me and it was almost like a switch was flipped the next morning and it was just weird vibes. I was still really nice to her but it didn't have that 'endearing' vibe to it, it was kind of me just being like a wussy boy and catering to her, totally opposite of what it was the night before. We had been kissing a lot at the festival and at the bars and that morning she was like barely kissing back at all the few times I did try. I felt really bad about myself because I just wasn't being the attractive man that I am. We ate and she was outta here by about noon. She was really quick to get in the car and go and barely kissed me goodbye. We've barely talked since, just a few meaningless Snapchats.
I should also add that she's very intelligent and I consider myself to be decently intelligent as well, we're both very perceptive about moods and vibes.
Okay you made it thank you so much if you're still reading it feels good to even vent it. My questions I guess are, what do you think happened and is any of it having to do with her being bipolar. The attraction we felt all but the last day was so real and so strong, and then it felt as if it were just entirely gone the next morning. I was acting a little weird because I was feeling anxious but it wasn't like I was significantly different. Is the attraction she felt for me real or was she just drunk and on a high? Did she actually feel those things? Is the distance I felt real or was it just a low?
Should I reach out to her? I felt so shitty about myself when she left that I've just been leaving her alone because I honestly feel like she wants nothing to do with me, even though I know that I treated her really well and she sincerely appreciated it and admired me (that night at least)
She's a little closed off over her feelings so saying "how are you feeling" wouldn't really be the right move... Ugh! Well thank you for reading and any insight you might have is so appreciated, I realize I may have wanted to post this to /r/relationships but it's a bit of a special case.
TL;DR: Had a few super highs and a final decent low with a girl who's bipolar. Not sure how much the bipolar had to do with it, wondering how to discern through all the mixed signals, and if I should wait for her to talk to me or if I should reach out to her next.
Best,
Brandon