Alright here's the thing, your real request (more broadly) is for external motivation to get in shape, because you don't have enough internal drive to do it. That's totally ok, you're a long road away from awesome results, of course it's hard to understand why you should get going.
So here's the deal, I'll PM you, but you have to agree to a few other things.
First of all, you get three meals a day now. I don't give two fucks what those three meals are, and they can be as huge as you want, but you get three of them. If you're not sitting at a table eating one of your three meals, you don't eat anything, and you don't drink anything but water. I don't know, but I'd bet a month's pay that you sit here on Reddit snacking and sipping soda for hours every night. Cut that shit out and there's 1000 less calories going in each day. You'll lose a couple pounds a week if you just don't cheat on this shit.
Second thing, find a gym that doesn't suck. It'll probably cost a lot more than your 24 hour fitness, Golds Gym, or Planet Fitness, but you need someplace reasonably large with a hot tub that gets regularly used. They should close around 11 PM.
Next, I need you to pick 3 days a week to go to the gym. I'm talking Monday, Thursday, Saturday. None of this "I'm busy today, I'll get my 3rd day in tomorrow" bullshit. 3 days of the week, and you fucking go for them around 8 pm. Here's your out though: I don't need you to work out when you go. You're big as fuck, working out is way harder for you than it is for a guy like me.
Just go, do any work you feel capable of, then go sit in that hot tub for half an hour, and talk to the guys you meet there. The bubbles will hide you, so no wearing a shirt like a bitch. The guys in that hot tub will be successful. They're at the gym to stay in shape, there in the evening because they have full time jobs, and sitting in the hot tub because they need to unwind after their jobs. To the fit guys there, fitness is a core part of their identity. Not because they're obsessed with fitness, but because they've never been overweight. When you've never been, you can't fathom how overweight people respect themselves enough to function in society. The point here is that if you run into guys like this a couple times a week and say you've lost 2 pounds since last week, they'll be impressed with you every damn week.
So you'll have my little PMs popping up on Reddit, but I'm a faceless internet user who's easy to ignore. If you go to a gym 3 days a week, and see the same guys there each week, you'll have real external motivation. Skip a week and your gym friends will notice.
Anyway, check your inbox.