I need to break up with my girlfriend of nearly 6 years sometime in the next couple weeks. I have no idea how I'm going to do it.

why don't you just work it out

That's what the past two and a half years have been, trying to work it out. But every four months like clockwork we always end up having the same conversation about how she feels neglected. I promise to try to make more time for her, and I do start making more time... Until I inevitably get in over my head at work and can't keep it up anymore, then things revert back to the same. Neither of us are happy with the way things are, and the situation isn't going to change for another 5 years.

If you’re in different phases in life what’s wrong with that?

The problem im finding is that because we're at different stages in life, our current goals are in direct conflict with one another. It feels like we're always working against each other instead if supporting each other.

For example, I recently found out about a really cool opportunity to work on an extracurricular project that would be really great for building up my career. When all my friends were supportive of me spending some time working on it, her first words were instead "well when are you going to find time to work on it?" and was upset about me using some of my free time for something other than seeing her. Likewise, when she brings up taking steps like moving in together and moving her life forward in the way she wants it to, I have to shoot them down because my current life schedule doesn't fit with the kind of domestic 9-5 situation she's looking for.

/r/BreakUps Thread Parent