I need to hear happy stories of people with TBM spouses.

My wife is fairly TBM still. BYU grad, RM, current temple recommend (but doesn't go much) and.. well.. life is good (for the most part.)

I won't lie, sometimes it sucks. Sometimes I think, "Man, if I left her I could find myself a nice non-religious girl and we could share wine with dinner or spend Sunday mornings together. She'd even wear cute underwear!" but the reality is I married her, not the non-religious woman, and I love her for more than her weird beliefs bother me.

And then I think about it and over the past year and a half I did get her to try wine. She hated it and likely won't try it again for years, but she did try it! Sometimes, if we stay up late on Saturday, she does sleep in with me! We wake up late, have sex, stay in bed for a while, take a shower together, make breakfast and then by then we see our neighbors walking home from church. We're still in our pajamas! So.. there's that..

Then there's also the fact that realistically the Mormon church is indefensible. If you stack the "evidence" for and the evidence against, it's quite obvious that the Book of Mormon, Abraham, First Vision, etc. is all made up. I think of it this way, it's just a matter of time. She may never leave were she not subjected to the reality of life, but I have 60+ years to show her what's going on. Realistically it'll probably only take 5 or less. In just 18 months I've already gotten her to admit to me that she can't read Abraham anymore now that she knows it isn't an actual translation. I also got her to tell me that if Tom Monson came over and asked her to divorce me, that she wouldn't do it. She knows there are issues, the just currently sit on her "shelf" and we all know that our shelves have a weight limit before the collapse. She no longer yells at me when I joke about Joseph's polygamy or if I go with my coworkers after work for a beer. In return no longer tell her that her garments are ugly or give her crap whenever she has her visiting teachers over to chat. The mutual respect goes a long way.

I just keep reminding myself that she's a smart woman and it's only a matter of time. She's a smart woman. She's motivated and driven. She has a career and she a 4 year degree. She currently work (4 months pregnant) and she plans on going back to work after taking a few months off for the baby. That kind of woman won't be subject to the church's subjugation her whole life, especially with a good influence like me around to point out to her things she wouldn't have otherwise ever seen.

I love my wife, she's amazing. I am sure you will come to the same conclusion about yours too when you really sit down and think about it. In fact... I'ma go pounce her in bed right now, because writing all this reminded me of how awesome she is, despite believing that Jesus shunned black people until 1978 and that in heaven she'll only be one of my wives, bahaha.

/r/exmormon Thread