Need help with post-ayahuasca process

Thank you for this post so much. This happened to me but I was on the receiving end and there's nothing online that really talks about the repercussions of ayahuasca. I was with my ex for 7 years and living with him when he called me from Peru saying that mama ayahuasca had told him he needed to be celibate and unattached for 9 months...and that he had talked her down from 12months. Without discussing it with me or sitting me down to talk about how it would look, he broke up with me. When he came home, he had shaved his head and was wearing beads everywhere. He didn't offer to help me move financially (until I finally had to ask) or otherwise and even had moments where he told me "I didn't know my medicine." His inability to empathize or even consider me in all this was really hard for me.

I had to stay with friends until I found my own place to live. The worst is now finding out from him that a 27yr old girl he's never met other than on FB is the love of his life (he's 43) because she went to the same place a month after him and they smoked the same mapacho. He says that ayahuasca (even though he wasn't on ayahuasca in this moment) came to him in a dream when he was struggling with heartache about me and showed him a younger version of me and then in a local ceremony later confirmed that it was her. He's flying her out here from across the country to meet him once his "celibacy" period is over. The hardest thing for me is feeling the betrayal about all of it. He went on and on about how the mother told him to be unattached for 9 months, yet 4 months in, he's attached to someone else...who also looks like me. It all feels like a lie. I've only done it twice locally and had good experiences but I thought ayahuasca was supposed to help people heal and learn to be more loving? It's been hard to deal with him since he got back and hard to hear about this new love interest...especially when I tell him his words are hurtful and he keeps going. I've since decided to block him from everything but I feel so misled about this drug and don't understand how someone could go out there, come home and completely change their entire life without considering the person they are with. It was all handled very coldly and with no empathy. He said he suffered and understood how much he hurt me for two weeks then ayahuasca told him that he didn't need to suffer anymore because there was the promise of this new girl. I don't really understand that.

I've started seeing someone else, but the pain and confusion over how someone could do all this with no regard has been really hard to process and get through. There's nothing online that talks about how ayahuasca can break up families because of people acting impulsively and it's hard to find help for those affected by it. His decisions have made me question my own spiritual groundedness at times as if he has a special key to the universe that told him who his soulmate was. Keep in mind...several years ago, she told him it was me.

How do you work through that? In your experience, Laurel, have you worked through it? My dream is that one day he wakes up from it and realizes what he did. I don't know that he ever will and I don't desire to get back together with him, but it would really help me heal if I could have a conversation with him that didn't include him talking down to me and removing responsibility from his actions. This spiritual thing can get really difficult when people bypass their emotions. I'd love to know more about your side...I feel like it's given me a little clarity about what happened to me, but it's not been easy. It's been a painful process to start over after all he and I had been through.

/r/Ayahuasca Thread