The owner the company acted like this place was a bar in a lot of ways. I did message (21F) before asking out her friend, telling her I wanted to but wouldn't if it made her uncomfortable or anything. I didn't care a lot because she broke up with me when I confronted her about flirting with another coworker (who I was becoming friends with) on multiple occasions when they thought I couldn't hear, and they were obviously fwb or dating afterwards or something. She made it clear she didn't care about me romantically and her friend seemed into me so I thought it wouldn't be a huge deal. Tbh I was really depressed though too so I wasn't thinking clearly.
Obviously learned my lesson about dating coworkers. Flirting was mutual and very light between me and the married woman. It started as just blushing / staring / happiness from both parties, honestly I was kind of falling in love and tried very hard to not be disrespectful toward her husband.
I do agree that i'm oblivious and may have hurt feelings as a result. I've had troubles socially all my life but do try to improve. I just felt like her and I had a genuine connection and I think she did too, but you're right I need to move on.