Ouffff. What I want you to do is read the first paragraph you wrote and resonate that person and how you were feeling when you typed that. It’s much easier on your mind if you try and be mad about the situation rather then sad I find. You deff realize the cycle you’re in and clearly fell back into again on purpose knowing the outcome. Us overthinkers know these things and run scenarios in our heads all day long. You simply just made the first few weeks a waste of time and you’ll need to restart and that includes all the feelings. Re read your first paragraph over and over. Do not give in again unless you can deal with a DA. But if you see no future like you said then you’ve already made a decision it cannot be fixed so do what you feel is right for your future.