I'm generally in a bad mood in my days. Usually I wait until the day ends and distract myself with all sorts of crap that doesn't require anything. So everything you can consume in the media. Surely I have a few people telling me they are my friends, but it's all people who don't have any and would throw me away for the next better opportunity. Usually, I'm just mediocre with other people. Most of the time they react polite, but don't want to have anything to do with me. I'm far below average attractive, skinny and all. And I'm pretty stupid as well (I also have some expression problems it just feels like words are just blocked). There are moments when I stop perceiving myself as a human being. Nobody does it anyway so why bother. When so, I often feel like some pathetic creature. I'm gonna start doing some stupid shit like today evening, when I just filled up my sink and held my head in a few times holding my breath just I was in the mood for it. It's seldom I do such weird shit and I do it, when I'm alone. Everything feels a bit surrealistic when I have my time and I sometimes just stop bother acting like a human. I don't have any interests, since I realized that nothing feels good. I'm pretty much pathetic so somehow it would be more stranger, if I'm happy with my current life.