Your story reminds me of how I felt about rewarding myself with drinking after a long week or when I was exhausted. It was the weekend, so I was allowed to drink. Not only that, living in a Scandinavian country it was almost socially required when meeting people.

Funny thing about normality, even in my country there's around 13% non-drinkers, so it's not statistically "normal" to drink even in the home country of the vikings.

Combined with other circumstances I was able and could afford to get black-out drunk two-three times a week, no consequences. I still am.

The point where I saw where I was headed was years ago, but this past six months I've started to "feel it in my soul". Getting a more emotional grasp on the situation. I can't stand the feeling of despair my drinking has on my vision of the future, and it has for the most parts been worse than the urge to drink.

I have tried to turn my logic around, and you know what I realized?

There are consequences for me getting black out drunk, even if it's unrelated to work, social settings and my economy. There's one person in the equation I never considered.

Myself.

If you and your husband continues your lifestyle, how do you envision yourselves in 10 years? What will the results be of continuing binging every december? Getting drunk on the weekends, sobering up on wednesdays? Passing out in strange places?

Flipping that logic...

If you and your husband decides to change your lifestyles, how do envision yourselves in 10 years? Do you believe that those changes will help mend the negative things you've described in this post? Even bring you good tings you cannot image right now?

For me that was the questions that started me on my journey out of alcohol. I'm very far from home. It was only when I felt I had to do it, a harmony of logic and feelings I could begin.

You have to answer to yourself, I started by asking myself those questions.