Hey, I feel you. I'm going through the same thing right now. It's hard not to feel like a fuck-up. And while school counselling might be of help, school administration and professors will not be as nice. Just recognize them as the bureaucracies that they are, and know they don't have the capacity for sympathy, and it's truly truly not about you. (I have had huge asshole professors teaching classes about mental health issues, and then when a student comes along with a mental health issue they're all like "you should have read the syllabus! You should have sent me your counselor's note the minute you received it, I don't care if you were suicidal that day or not!") I have a lot of facebook friends that are professors, all they do is complain about their students. Sometimes I want to shake them and say these students are all adults! They are adults with varied problems and some come from a myriad of mental health issues.
I'm a late-20's girl doing my undergrad after 3 drop-outs, in class with a bunch of 19 year olds. It's rough. but I met another girl my age who dropped when she was younger as well, and is also struggling adjusting to undergrad and makes me feel SO MUCH BETTER. I've also joined an eating-disorders group with girls from a variety of ages, and it's so much fun talking to them. We all feel like fuck-ups in a world of people who have their shit together, and we're learning to laugh about it.
How old are you? I'm 26. You're an adult. Doing undergrad with profs who treat you like a teenager is patronizing. Doing school when you also have work and bills and adult life is not always feasible. I'm taking a first year course right now, and the prof is swaggering all across class and the girls are fawning over him and all I can think is 'I;m so over this shit'. Undergrad is built for young adults. Don't feel bad that you can't adapt to it. Recognize that you're an adult with adult values and you have to pull back your life to fit an undergrad education into your adult life. I failed one course this past semester because they required tons of extra homework in which we had to interview strangers on the street, on our own time, which takes hours to do. Like I'm sorry, but I work after school. To pay rent.
Shame is a hard emotion. Somebody else posted a poem here, thought I'd include one I have taped to my mirror. It's the first paragraph of Wild Geese by Mary Oliver. I love that line, "you do not have to be good".
You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.