What are you routines that are not productive? That is the question. What fills your day? What is your go to comfort routine? Do you skim Youtube videos for 2 hours... then 3? Do you keep checking back on Facebook messages and find yourself scrolling for an hour?
These are habits, clear cut habits. The cue, the routine, the reward. These habits are what define your life, not the new ones. It's the majority ones. Would you believe me if I told you most of your daily activity was unconscious? It could be performed without higher consciousness and this has been proven scientifically.
Take back your life. You are a being of higher consciousness and you only have a tiny window. You are going to FUCKING DIE one day. THINK ABOUT THAT. You might as well embrace that discomfort, that effort of complete power over yourself and do a complete 180. Not just you OP, anybody reading this right now.
If you want to do something, there are 3 things you need to do, and fuck everything else. Fuck meditation fuck journals there are only 3 things you need to do:
Cut the unproductive habits (anything you do in the day that is unproductive) or restrict them to a time of day as a reward only.
When it's time to work, you need to get your brain in the task-positive mode. This isn't just a saying, it's a real thing. It's a shift in your brain wiring that goes back thousands of years that allows us to work in a state of flow. It's a real thing that you need to understand and be able to be in. If you face a task where you don't know the exact path to success, you need to address the plan first. Build that plan step by step problem by problem and then attack those problems in the task-positive mode.
Make habits work for you. Using the cue, routine, reward method you train your lower self to put up with the bullshit you are putting it through. You have to do this. No amount of willpower will overcome this lower self. You need it on your side. Cue, routine, reward.
We are ancient animals. Adapt to the way we are wired and you will succeed. Fight it and you will fail. If you can't handle a total life change then just hit that button on the remote and wake up tomorrow an old soul full of regret. If you want more, wake up tomorrow to a new life, a true life.
If you're in the mood listen to this song. It fills me with sadness and inspiration.