hmm...
i almost feel like i got this one but it's a tough cookie to crack...
i almost wanna take a shot in the dark and say you were pretty isolated growing up. you also play a lot of video games.
^ that's basically your only problem. being alone and playing video games. =/ case solved. next!
your like, wait.. wait wait wait, u didn't solve anything. ugh... ok i will.. attempt to explain. To Ze Great Wall Of Text!
the great wall of text. - i haven't spoken really to anyone in 12yrs. before i even type this, i've had this conversation with you atleast a dozen times. (whisper whisper..in my head).
"Talking to myself and hearing different personalities in my head, but all with my same voice, they often speak of things I could've done had I been in that personality. " i sometimes myself, can hear myself as a fat woman replying to comments in reddit. i can hear myself replying as master shredder.. i could even even fathom what i would do as venom as if venom himself, and how i would kill spiderman as him. having a conversation with yourself as someone else, *shrug... it's normal.
NEXT
"being delusional, I sometimes think that I am chosen for something very important " - 5yrs back i honestly figured i solved out the entire universe... but no one on reddit listened, they even downvoted me and called me a dumbass. and yet 5yrs later some of the things i claimed is now being viewed more and more as likely possible. ... scary isn't it? where's my eff'n noble peace prize? =.=;;
NEXT
" weird cracks in my normal behaviour, sometimes I just go crazy and think I'm seeing something from someone else's perspective, or rant about how nothing matters because everything must end. Do my choices matter? Does anything matter? " see... too many video games.
next
" lack of control of my body, certain things trigger it like specific songs with a specific video tied to my past or even tied to my host brother make my flip out and lose control of myself " - ... total cry for attention? *shrug ok u got me on this one dude, shy of being posessed, idk what to tell u here. so random.
" anxiety is also common from time to time •paranoia, this has lasted the longest and been the most noticable for me. I am paranoid of everything to the point where I have fake guns and real knives in a drawer next to me while I sleep. It's been like that for a while. I live in one of the safest communities in Canada too. " - and this is the biggest thing that makes me think you've been isolated too much.
"•hallucinations, have only happened a couple times, in one instance I thought I could see snow on my desk at school and I was wiping it off." ... you sure someone isn't giving you shroomz when you aren't looking?
ok so a couple of ur things, can't really be explained by isolation and video games, but.. everything mate, sry... isolation... i mean you think just b/c your talking on reddit you're not isolated, WRONG. sure it helps... but honestly, this is no different than asking a book a question and getting a response. it can't hug you, it can't hold you, it can't play kickball with you. words aren't as strong as actual action. for example: "i put my penis in her vagina". (dont report me for that, also i need my karma.. get ur finger off the arrow key plz). saying the words, makes u laugh a lil, snicker, etc, women might read it with displeasure, disgust, or they might even be shocked by my random outburst....
but when you do the actual action. you feel an indescribable amount of emotions and pleasures, nervousness, your heart is beating so fast it feels like it's going to explode.. etc.
- SO...
what i was getting at is... are you isolated? being in the same room as someone doesn't mean your not isolated, if your the only kid in a room full of adults, it's like being an alien in rosewell new mexico.. sure u might fit in there but you dont really feel like you belong. when your accepted by peers your own age when your hanging out, you tend to do.. .. dumber things... sorry it's true, but, peer socialization is something the human body craves.
video games - i know video games have been to blame for a lot of things, and they've taken a lot of flack for alot of.. wait didn't i already? meh.. ok so. RELATIONSHIPS. girls these days are insecure b/c their bf would rather spend time playing video games than with them, causing women to become withdrawn and emotionally distressed. (sry but it's true) men.. ignore women, play video games, dont try to be social animals that they were meant to be, instead sit around not doing anything with their lives other than .. just wasting time.
video games can cause personality disorders - have you played ANY moba? i rest my case. dota... league.. take your pick. best examples of what video games can do to ppl and how it can change their mentality.
now that i feel like i've identified your problem (ok sry mate i can't explain the choking urself and airhumping when the southpark theme comes on or w/e trigger u were talking about..but.. maybe ur just different? and by that i mean maybe your not like other ppl, just like they aren't like you. i'm not like you, nor am i like anyone else, because i'm different. i'm unique. i am me.)
now that.. *cough* i've said that already.. ok so.. hrm.. HRM HRM HRRrrrRRRM ... listen up senpai. now that we've found the problem now it's time to come up with ze solutttshuns. that's right, the solutions. how do we do that? it's simple. you bury the real you deep inside and never let anyone see it. .. ever.. ... for the rest of your life. that's what everyone else does.. no lie. we have like 5 personalities and a couple... no one else ever sees. this is normal. no one will know the real you, other than you. you have - the you around your parents, the you around your friends or imaginary friends. the you around a girlfriend or imaginary gf (dont lie, you probably like fabio in those dreams) (i can't believe it's not butta... hair and dk fapping in the wind.) (holds up a tub of butter).
Then there's 3 normal you's.
evil you - this dude's an asshole, and he plots a lot of crap that .. =/ well.. basically he's the one that controls when ur angry, violent, wants to explode. sometimes plots crap, (dont listen to him) and