To take a neutral stance on the abortion debate.

Woman who is mostly pro-life here (I believe the only valid reason for abortion is if the unborn baby/fetus/whatever has severe health complications that will ultimately result in death of baby and/or mother, so I guess I’m pro-choice in that sense, but I mostly learn towards pro-life). I hope to create a discussion where we aren’t attacking each other, but sharing viewpoints to gain more perspective and maybe understand one another better. I do listen and care about opinions and believe opinions can change! :)

I don’t hate pro-choice people, and I don’t think pro-choice people are all for “killing babies”. I see a lot of people using “all”, “every”, and “always” and just an fyi, it comes off as an attack on us who DO stand out. I have friends on both sides of the spectrum and I don’t judge or condemn because it’s not my place.

I get that there are certain circumstances where people believe abortion would be ideal. Rape, health complications, potential abusive home, etc. My thing is that I feel that it’s taking away potential. I believe each person conceived is a miracle and has a purpose in life and we’re taking away that potential just because it’s not ideal for our situation. We don’t 100% know what someone’s future could look like. Some people who were in bad situations grew up to be successful and well off in life, but in this case, we’re taking that possibility away.

Don’t hate me for saying this, but the conceptions by rape is a touchy subject. Rapists are horrible, awful people and I feel for the women who’ve been impregnated by rape. I, myself, have been in that situation and can’t imagine how hard it would have been had I ended up pregnant, but I believe if I had, I wouldn’t have opted for abortion. I understand that reporting rape is so hard, with reliving the trauma and feeling shame, being examined and then victim-blamed. I get that it would be hard to look your child in the face every day knowing they are the product of unwanted force. Or they could also be a reminder of something hard you’ve overcome. They could be the light of your life and a joy and someone you grow so close to because you’re BOTH victims and neither of you asked for it to happen so you have a special bond (like the movie “Room”). So please don’t say I’m hateful or awful or anything. I get it. And I’m trying to come from a place of genuine love and concern, not hatred or condemnation. But I feel like it’s not that baby’s fault. And that baby is not the rapist. It seems like an abortion in that instance is making someone innocent pay for someone else’s crimes by taking their chance at life away entirely, and I feel like it is unfair to the potential child. It doesn’t bring justice to the rapist, so the main reason for the rape is that the woman doesn’t want a living reminder, which I understand. But also feel could possibly be corrected with therapy and time? Maybe I’m wrong there. I think in this instance, the rape should be reported, a Plan B pill should be taken, and if it takes a few weeks to realize there’s a pregnancy, it should be terminated as early as possible. Or there are so many families who want to adopt babies because they can’t have babies on their own. (Please don’t get me started on the foster care system. That’s an issue in itself and feel it’s a separate argument. Yes, I care deeply for children in foster care. My mother grew up in foster care after being abused and neglected and she’s the strongest woman I know who loves so hard and taught me amazing lessons and she’s also pro-life. I plan to become a foster parent when I own a home.) Therapy is important in this too so we can learn how to face and overcome our problems. There are also many programs to help single mothers and people in financial distress to care for babies and children.

I feel like abortion is selfish. I get that being selfish sometimes is a good thing, but not at the cost of someone else’s life. I understand a lot of women feel that it’s their only option. I also feel that there are other alternatives. Contraceptives, the Plan B pill, etc. I think women should be able to get their tubes tied whenever they want. It can always be reversed if they change their minds. I think our countries should be treating our women better and providing more support for certain circumstances. I think birth control should be more readily available.

I’ve also struggled with when it’s okay vs. when it’s not. If a fetus isn’t alive and can’t survive out of the womb, okay. I get that argument. But what about babies in the late second trimester and early third trimester that CAN survive outside of the womb? Real question, not meant to be punitive, but just really curious where everyone’s stance is on this for the sake of my knowledge (I’m always scared to ask because I don’t want people thinking I’m coming across as like “WHY DONT YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR ACTIONS” but more of genuine desire to understand where everyone stands on this), but what’s the difference in having a late-term abortion vs. ending a baby’s life right after it has already been born and placed in the mother’s arms? It’s just a few minute’s difference and where the baby is physically located. One is considered a medical procedure and the other is considered murder. Why?

Also, my other question (genuine desire to understand perspective, not meant to be punitive) is if “my body, my choice” is an argument, why can’t we use that to do drugs, which is illegal, or prostitute ourselves, which is also illegal, or why doesn’t that argument work for someone who wants to end their own life, which is illegal (don’t come at me for that one please, I’ve been suicidal and it landed me in a behavioral health hospital)? For me, I get that argument. I’ve been pregnant so I know what it’s like to feel like I’m having the life sucked out of me, and it’s my body keeping the baby alive, but what about the baby’s body and the baby’s choice? We’re not ending our own lives, we’re ending another human’s life, so how is it morally right to use that argument? Please tell me your opinions!

Sorry for the long comment! I haven’t had a real discussion with someone on the topic other than my husband, who happens to be pro-choice. He doesn’t necessarily support abortion, but would rather women be given the choice so they could have safe procedure in order to prevent them from trying to end a pregnancy on their own and hurting themselves.

/r/therewasanattempt Thread Link - i.redd.it