I can definitely relate. I hate that I am hardly ever truly happy, and if I am it’s a fleeting feeling that ends in feeling completely empty and depressed. My brain just doesn’t allow me to be comfortable or content long term. It’s fucked up that whenever I am happy I remember that soon I won’t be happy again. It’s painful to wish I was dead constantly but also fear/dread dying and the death of loved ones more than anything else. And nothing is ever enough for me either. I always want more of EVERYTHING. Life is hard and it’s disappointing. This probably didn’t help haha. just please know that you’re not alone in these shitty feelings.