I have never had a girlfriend.

that's wonderful that you recognize that. I think that, a lot of people use relationships as some kind of drug in a way honestly - I certainly do - I am not in a healthy relationship and I often know I should be on my own (I am being candid with you because..I appreciate you being candid with me, though..I also just can't shut up in general haha)

relationships will not erase mental illness or negative habits etc. - it can provide a euphoria that can distract you from progress - and very quickly, that euphoria can die out..and then all you have left is 'comfort' I guess, but 'comfort' is not always a good thing...it can mean stagnating with someone you're not truly ready to be with for too long and...putting someone else before yourself, which is never advisable when one is trying to make progress on oneself

I'm stoned right now so I apologize if this is incoherent haha

I do'nt know what to make of online dating either to be honest - I fucking hated a lot of it - but I'm ultimately glad I did it...because being alone for so long..is indeed insufferable and hard to deal with I guess - I have trouble making friends so..I should try to make friends instead but I suck at everything.

I literally just talk to one person typically..my boyfriend. so nobody should be taking advice from me haha.

..I agree, why subject yourself? I don't know. but when I'm that desperate, I will do anything, and okc is better than nothing HAHA it's pathetic, I'm pretty pathetic

I don't think okc is innately bad, but there's a lot of desperate people on there as well...so it can cause..strange situations - perhaps intimacy too fast etc.

the ideal thing for me would be to make a friend and then date them...but as I mentioned..I seem to be incapable of making friends past the age of 12..

I do enjoy okc for vetting people before I date them..though the way someone presents themselves online can be completely erroneous...

job hunting and okc...that comparison is apt.

I'm just one 'success' (and we shouldn't call it a 'success,' no one would if they understood the situation haha) - and maybe that's more rare than I think...so maybe online dating is completely worthless (especially for men or whomever is literally getting zero responses - that is shitty and weird, and more women should initiate..I always made sure to initate messages whenever I felt like it -often- I sent the first message to my boyfriend and he said it was the first message he got from anyone but a robot in a couple of months - so yes, facing facts, okc is extremely more shitty for men than women just going by..the shittiness of not feeling validated more or having any opportunities at all - I would like to add to this..that I truly think..girls need to initiate more..there is an epidemic of girls not doing this and that may be most of the problem - I was listed as 'bisexual' on okc..not because I'm bisexual, I just didn't care about gender and I wanted to make friends as well - but ZERO girls ever messaged me even though I openly invited them to even just to be friends..whereas..countless amount of men messaged me to the point it got..surprising..because I'm not even very attractive - I think there's a lot of desperate or not so desperate men on there that intiate en masse to improve their odds - which is, smart, but probably is an extreme chore, more than a chore than my experience as a woman...so I even agree that it is more of an investment for men, if they actually want something out of it..it takes more effort from them (most of the time - these are all generalizations of course)

  • sorry, I'm just..thinking through it while stoned and these are my conclusions, I believe I was very mistaken in my arguments - sometimes I try to defend things I don't even believe, maybe I just like talking haha

so yes, online dating is..hell for both parties, but in all liklihood, moreso for men

now I'm just getting depressing though, I find it impossible to have concrete opinions sometimes - and I keep sliding all over the place

I don't really recommend online dating anymore, you changed my mind :P haha

/r/depression Thread Parent