There's detox places that will help you for free. Every time I've tried to admit myself they tell me to go to the hospital but if a family member or friend calls you in then you can get in immediately. I'm an alcoholic and the safest way I've come down is just drinking a little less than yesterday, even if was switching from liquor to beer or wine and take a multivitamin, drink a lot of water, maybe 2 showers a day, lots of sleep, but try not to be alone, and eat food even if you throw up a couple times. It's hard really hard and detox and withdrawals suck but get a little exercise even if just pacing back and forth, take deep breaths and remember mind over matter. You can do this. I'm sorry you're suffering but keep your chin up and believe in yourself. It's gonna suck but gets easier after about 3 days. The human body is amazing, i mean we can take bullets and lose limbs and still survive. I still advise you get medical help, you're worth it and you deserve to exist.