3. New but excited and a little unsure?

New but excited and a little unsure?

Our first time was just like this... in fact our profile still says "She does not always play, but is always there" because I had the same problem your husband did :) A lack of attraction makes it hard, and remember he is breaking a tradition he has been held to his entire life. We went with a few threesomes and couple meets before I met The One. The One is someone we still see to this day! I call him The One because he was my turning point in swinging. Out of nowhere we met this single male (who use to be a swinger, but wifey took stage left) who ROCKED MY WORLD. The first meet with him was ... I wasn't all that keen to get him back, no problems with him, just didn't feel that spark. My husband however, was dead keen on this guy. Wanted to experiment with him and see if he was Bi. Turns out he isn't, LOL! But, in the course of finding that out (and giving deep throat that puts me to fucking shame (Get in your corner, Meg)) this guy just... well fuck. Ive never screamed like that in my LIFE. My husband got jealous. Fuck, I got jealous, lol. Anyway... without going into too many details and turning this into softcore porn writing, the tables turned for me. I just needed time, and exposure, and a spark with someone, and weirdly - I needed a repeat meeting so I could learn to feel comfortable with another male who was not my husband (hubby was there!).

I think you need to take him at face value. Dont push him, but dont shut it down either. If he says he is okay to go one more round, go one more round. When he says enough - then it's enough. Make eye contact with him. Mouth the words I love you while he fucks her. Tell him he is hot when she sucks him. Reassure him that you LIKE this. My advice is dont go solo. Not to start with, otherwise he will never get the chance to adjust.

After this couple, just stop. Let him pick the next one. And dont swing until he does. Try going to a party, and letting him pick a girl for you to seduce. Get him out there, meeting people, seeing the want in others eyes for him. Let him make it about him, not just you. If it's ALL about you, it's not healthy. (Not an accusation! You seem to know this, and seem intelligent and warm hearted!)

Good luck, and most importantly - love each other.

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