I saw your post on the other subreddit, it's weird because I get what you mean, but on the other hand not so much. I also thought I was in remission during my 23-32 years, but the depression was gradually coming back, I had a big problem with my marriage and my life collapsed horribly. It's been 6 years of different medications and doctors and now I feel a bit stable and so does my marriage. But I always wonder if I had been on medication at the time, maybe it would have been less intense. I understood in the bad way that we can't escape "sh*t that happens". But also I — believe— that my life is going to be super different after menopause lol, I don't know, I just have to believe in that, all the migraine doctors tell me that it's going to be better, or that the mood of a neurotypical women is much better off after that. And somehow I want to believe that it's true and I want that kind of hope and that better days will come, anyway, thanks for your post lol!