I did previously check his phone via google settings last spring and as soon as I did he turned it off saying he hates how google violates his privacy. We tried marriage counseling and it seemed to make things worse. We fought more. He says he hated feeling judged by the therapist and hated her suggestions that anything was inappropriate. I’ve sent him articles on emotional affairs by psychology today and he’s replied that he doesn’t think the category is legitimate and that what matters is that he’s changed his behavior even if he never understands why I find it objectionable. Talk seems not to help at all. He says the two of us will never have the same perspective. I’ve started to wonder if I should start up a text friendship with a male friend that stays away from sex and romance just so that he can see what it’s like. He says he has absolutely no problem with it. It’s not what I want. But I also don’t want divorce unless it’s clear he crossed a line physically.