New Member / Day 1 Thread

Hi everyone! This is actually my day 5, not day 1, but whatever. I'm 24, female, and I have always struggled with my weight, but I had never gained so much weight until university. Unfortunately, I was severely bullied by multiple people (roommate, classmates, people in the dojo). Yeah, I'm somewhat lazy, I get easily bored during exercising. But I love martial arts! I practiced a martial art (I don't want to tell which branch to avoid controversy), but in the end I had to quit because of bullying. Bullying led depression, depression led insomnia and binge-eating and they led to obesity. I graduated two years ago, but I'm still struggling with those issues. I don't seek professional help, after a few unsuccessful attempts, I lost my faith in them, so I'm pretty much on my own.

My worst habit is to go to the nearest supermarket everyday and buy lots of junk food and eat all of them on the same day. The next day, I repeat the same and this goes on and on. For the last five days, I haven't bought any junk food and I'm proud of myself. I don't have a problem with eating my normal meals in a normal portion. I don't have the confidence to go to a gym or exercise outside, but I have a stepper at home and I work out on it 20 minutes everyday. Maybe it is too short and I move too slowly, but I know my limits. On my first day I completed the work out almost crying in pain, but now I feel great after the exercise! Next week I'm going on a vacation. I'll swim everyday there and I'm trying to prepare myself for people who might make fun of me. Maybe I'll just use ear-plugs so that I can't hear any hurtful comments, hehe. I know I shouldn't pay any attention to them, but for now it is impossible.

I don't use the scale, it makes me upset and obsessed with weight-loss. I want this to be a healthy lifestyle. Clothes are good for measurement, but my main goal is to be fit enough to keep up with a kick-boxing class by the next fall. Yeah, after my first disappointing experience with martial arts, I want to give it another chance. I don't want to give up on my passion for good because of a bunch of idiots. And that's pretty much who I am. For those who read it, thanks for reading and I wish you all good luck with your own journey.

/r/loseit Thread