If a new person comes in, banter stops and a rapport is establish with the new person to guage what they're comfortable with. Thats just called being inclusive and making friends. You do this on a public server because its public and thats social etiquette.
I was agreeing with you until this. It is unreasonable to expect an entire community to walk on egg shells every time someone joins (Especially if its a server on the scale of 2b2t). Its up to the new person to establish themselves with the community or find a new community. I will be welcoming to a new player. Say hello, ask them about themselves, and try to include them in the conversations. However it is unreasonable and I will say down right presumptions for the new person to expect the community to cater to their sensitivities.