New relationship with a person who has PTSD and is "recovering" (not sure what the word is) lol

I've been dating another ptsd survivor for over 4 years now and it's been one of the most amazing things that's ever happened in my life. However it's also been a one of the most triggering rollercoaster imaginable at times. I feel very lucky that we were able to work it out and figure out how to be cooperative and not destructive together.

I also completely understand how hurt you must feel to be shut out suddenly with no communication. And you are justified in feeling that way. But she is also justified in getting overwhelmed and shutting people out. If you two are going to work together you have to remember, even while triggering each other and freaking out, that what ever the situation is probably isn't as big a deal as you feel like it is. Sometimes the best solution is to just wait until you're not triggered anymore before you try to interact.

Co dependency is almost inevitable imho, but if you allow yourself to have expectations of the other person, they will almost inevitably let you down. And if you're already freaking out, having additional pressure to act a certain way will just add more stress. So if she needs to shut down communications for a while to re group, letting her do that on her own terms is in your best interest. Everyone with ptsd had their coping mechanisms and trying to modify hers won't go well. You can only hope to build enough trust over tone that she starts to let you in. And ptsd makes connection really hard when you're vulnerable, so it might be a while.

If you can accept that, she will see you accepting her even with her ptsd, and you can start to build trust.

Best of luck and skill :)

/r/ptsd Thread