Hey thanks for the reply.
They didn't necessarily need to give me a label, but they should have offered the appropriate treatment & formal diagnosis process surely?
I know that you know how serious BPD can be, but probably the majority don't. I just wanted to get it's seriousness across. None of my friends or family had even heard of it before I learnt I had it, let alone know it's seriousness.
Regarding the self fulfilling prophecy thing, being given a label wouldn't make me want to kill myself, and they could have treated me without a label. I never wanted to kill myself. I'm not depressed. For me it's emotional instability in the sense that I can be fine and happy 90+ % of the time, but in just those odd moments I can completely lose it. I needed help on how to deal with that.
The medication isn't proper treatment, it's a complete cop out. The typical 30 second appointment where they prescribe you new meds and kick you out the door. It's not what I needed. Rather it is what was quick, or lazy, or convenient.
None of the medications helped in the slightest, quite the opposite. After my diagnoses it was the personality disorder specialist doctor who told me all the pills had been counterproductive. I'd assume he's more experienced & specialised in that area compared to the regular doctors.
Blaming the withdrawal isn't some shitty excuse. I mean, sure, it's possibly not the sole reason, but it was surely a big contributor? I'm almost 24 years old. That means I've lived for almost 1250 weeks. And only on ONE of those weeks I attempted suicide? Out of 1250? The exact same and only week where I went completely cold turkey on powerful meds? Maybe that's a coincidence... but if so, it's 1/1250 chance.
Going cold turkey on the meds was dumb. Is there a single reason not to just gradually reduce it? Not that I know of.
It's not the psychiatrist fault I attempted suicide. Nobody chose for me to be ill. But there's a lot, lot, less chance I'd have done it, and I'd certainly suffered far less, if they'd offered me actual treatment. Surely that much is undeniable.
There was a course offered at that very building which they admit was suitable for me, and that helped me, but they never ever told me about it. Not until my dad discovered it over a year later, it's a damn joke.
Similarly she could have put me forward for the diagnosis process. It helped me learn more about myself, helped me fill in crisis plans and other useful things, and has led to appropriate courses which I will soon attend which will help. But she didn't. We had to find out about it ourselves, with no help from them, and in such time I'd lost a lot, almost died, and gone through a lot of suffering which could have been greatly reduced.
The local NHS team let the police read through all and every note a doctor had ever taken about me. Including things I'd said. They also told the police when I'd be attending my appointment, so they could swoop in and arrest me in a scene which resembled an american action movie and make me miss my much needed appointment.
I was completely innocent of any crime, they had 0 evidence, I was not charged, not convicted, dropped because it was nonsense, but that doesn't stop these villains from hurting me or subjecting me to all sort of pain and wrongdoings.
What they did was not justified, they can suck my dick with their dead mothers lips. They don't care about my mental health in the slightest. Instead they'd previously made completely false and fabricated lies up about me, a corrupt investigation, and they were looking for anything I'd said under confidence to support their lies. They do not care about my mental health, or else they would have arrested me any other time or day of the week, not the 1 hour I needed to go to my vital appointment.
I'm actually a very caring & empathetic person. I hate causing a scene, or complaining. But I think that these people have shown great incompetence and negligence which was almost fatal. They've also disregarded my privacy, been rude and angry with me, despite me being kind to them. I simply want some sort of change. Some sort of discipline upon them. So that this is less likely to happen to someone again. I don't even see those people anymore, so going forward it's nothing to do with me, but others.
I think my anger from the world and being different comes from my autism more than anything else. Please don't think my reply as angry to you or anything, I'm very grateful that you've kindly replied, just mad at my local NHS people, and recalling it bothers me.
I'm making progress and should slowly get better now.
Thanks for your reply!